Christ for the Generations, Part Three

Godly Younger Women

In Titus 2:3-5, Paul says, “[The older women] are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

Now, I’m going to nail my flag to the mast right from the outset of this sermon: I believe everything in Titus 2 is normative. In other words, everything it says is for all Christians, for all time. None of it is optional. This is how older men, older women, younger women, younger men, pastors, and workers ought to live.

These are the kinds of things pastors should be teaching clearly and boldly in the church. We should never apologize for them. We should go to great lengths to explain them, to help the church understand and embrace them.

These instructions weren’t just for the island of Crete. They are for us—for the church today.

That means I believe the goals laid out in Titus 2:4–5—the things older women are to teach younger women—are still the pattern we’re meant to follow. It’s not an exhaustive list, but it is a necessary one.

Young women should aspire to be married, to raise children, to love their husbands, and to walk in a godly character that clearly sets them apart from the world.

This is a wholesome teaching. This is sound doctrine. It’s something beautiful—something to be celebrated.

And yet, to say something so obvious, so clearly biblical, is deeply offensive to many.

So before we move any further, I want to lay some groundwork to help you understand why that is.

First, understand this: the family is at the very heart of God’s design for the world. And by “family,” I don’t just mean a couple of people living under the same roof. I mean an intergenerational household made up of both men and women. I know that might sound a bit technical, but in times as confused as ours, sometimes clarity requires specificity.

A household begins with a man and a woman—usually in a modest home or apartment. Through hard work and God’s blessing, children come along. As they raise those children, they’re not just surviving—they’re passing down healthy, biblical traditions. They’re building a culture. Over time, they accumulate possessions, influence, and wisdom. Then, as those children grow up and start families of their own, the original couple becomes grandparents. If God blesses them with many children, their grandchildren will grow up with aunts, uncles, and cousins.

That small household has now grown into something much larger—a network of connected families who share not just a name, but a set of commitments. That’s how God designed the world to flourish: through households that multiply, spread out, and cover the earth with worshipers and builders.

I called this an intergenerational household because it typically involves grandparents, parents, and children—and often includes great-aunts, uncles, cousins, and second cousins. That’s a powerful structure of support. But let’s be honest: few of us grew up in a family like that. Our families have gotten smaller. We’re less rooted. And that broader household structure has been replaced by isolated, nuclear families.

And now, even the nuclear family is under attack. We see an epidemic of single-parent households. We see homosexual couples adopting children. We see a government that acts as though our kids ultimately belong to them. Children need both a mother and a father. Yes, there are tragic circumstances that sometimes prevent that, but what we’re talking about here is God’s design—not the exceptions.

Those who hate God don’t just reject His design—they actively work to undermine it. Their most common strategy is division: separate what God has joined. Divide the generations. Turn son against father, mother against daughter. And for over a century now, we’ve watched man and woman—husband and wife—slowly turned against one another.

Jesus said it plainly: a house divided cannot stand.

And perhaps no movement has done more to divide the house than modern feminism.

Now, I realize people mean different things when they use that word. Sometimes it refers to basic decency—equal pay for equal work, or standing against abuse. But feminism as a cultural movement is far more than that.

It has redefined womanhood. It has trained generation after generation of women to see God’s design as bondage, not blessing. And it has hollowed out the very concept of femininity.

Feminism didn’t do this all at once. It came in waves. And each wave has been built on a set of foundational lies—lies about men and women, about the family, and ultimately, about God.

So, what are those lies?

First, the lie that God’s design for the household holds women back. That being a wife, mother, or homemaker is somehow second-class—something to tolerate, not embrace.

Second, the lie that for a woman to be truly equal to a man, she must become like a man—able to compete with him in every arena, on his terms, by his standards.

Third, the lie that a woman’s worth is ultimately proven by a career. That financial independence and public status are the highest goals. That success is defined by productivity outside the home—not fruitfulness within it.

Let me walk you through this in four quick movements—four waves of feminism—each one carrying women farther from the household, farther from their God-given design, and ironically, farther from true womanhood.

First Wave (Late 1800s–Early 1900s)

The first wave focused on gaining women the right to vote and encouraging access to higher education. On the surface, it didn’t look like a revolution. Some of its leaders even claimed Christian convictions. But underneath, a shift had already begun: the belief that a woman’s highest calling wasn’t in the home but in public life—as an “independent individual.”

Elizabeth Cady Stanton, one of the movement’s most influential voices, said:

“The Bible and the Church have been the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of women’s emancipation.”

That wasn’t just about voting. It was about tearing down the foundation. It started small, but the seed was planted: the best life happened outside the household, and womanhood would be measured against manhood. And manhood would be treated with suspicion and the home would be increasingly devalued.

Second Wave (1960s–1980s)

This wave launched a full-scale revolt against the household. Being a wife and mother was framed as unfulfilling—something to escape.

Betty Friedan, in The Feminine Mystique, described suburban housewives as trapped in “comfortable concentration camps.” Gloria Steinem quipped, “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”

Men were no longer companions—they were competitors. Oppressors. The goal wasn’t cooperation—it was conquest. Feminism turned marriage into a power struggle, not a covenant. It cast submission as slavery and painted male leadership as a threat to be overthrown.

At the same time, a job outside the home wasn’t just seen as an option—it became the new ideal. A woman’s identity and purpose were to be found in the workplace. And the home? That was just something to manage on the side.

Listen to how Friedan put it herself:

“There is only one way for women to reach full human potential—by participating in the mainstream of society, by exercising their own voice in all the decisions shaping that society. For women to have full identity and freedom, they must have economic independence... It would be necessary to change the rules of the game to restructure professions, marriage, the family, the home.”

That’s not about flexibility. That’s about reengineering creation. Feminism didn’t just want to free women—it wanted to sever them from the very structure God made for their flourishing.

Third Wave (1990s–Early 2010s)

By the third wave, the household wasn’t just sidelined—it was seen as irrelevant. The culture told women they could be anything, do anything, define themselves however they pleased. Not only was motherhood optional, it was often portrayed as an obstacle. The ideal woman now had a career, a platform, a following—and maybe, if she wanted, a kid or two later in life.

The new measure of success was self-expression. Not fruitfulness, but particular type of freedom. Not sacrifice, but self-fulfillment.

The message was: career first, pleasure first, self first.

And yet, for all the promises of empowerment, we saw rising rates of depression, infertility, relational breakdown, and loneliness. Women were told they were gaining the world—but many lost themselves in the process.

Fourth Wave: (2010s–Present)

And now we’ve reached the end of the line. The fourth wave has hollowed out womanhood completely. Today, we can’t even define what a woman is. The irony of feminism is that under the guise of being “pro-woman,” it has emptied womanhood of any meaning at all.

What began as a promise of freedom has stripped women of the very things that make them women.

Marriage, children, and the home—once honored as sacred callings—have been replaced with slogans, sexual confusion, and a constant sense of grievance. Careerism isn’t just an option—it’s a moral obligation. Men are no longer to be followed, loved, or partnered with—but resented. The household isn’t something to build—it’s something to escape.

And yet, despite all the progress and promises, many women feel more anxious, more dissatisfied, and more lost than ever.

They were told they’d be more fulfilled—but many have been left rootless, restless, and robbed.

Not everyone has rejected womanhood, marriage, or the work of building a household in the most radical ways. But there is a subtler, more socially acceptable version of feminism that can be just as destructive. I often see this in conservative or Christian circles. It affirms that marriage, children, and the home are good things—but only so long as they coexist with the ideals of careerism and competition with men.

This version redefines marriage into a kind of two-headed creature. It insists on an “equal partnership” in a way that eliminates any notion of leadership or distinct roles. In this model, the woman is not merely permitted to do everything a man can do—she is expected to. She is expected to thrive in a demanding career while also raising children, managing the home, and supporting a husband. She must build a business and bake cupcakes for the school fundraiser. The bar is impossibly high.

That is an incredible burden—one that exceeds the natural capacity of nearly any person. Some vocations simply can’t be held at the same time. You can’t be both a lawyer and a doctor simultaneously; each demands your full attention. In the same way, trying to be fully present in the work of raising children and keeping a home while also maintaining a full-time career comes with consequences. Something will suffer. Your marriage will be stretched. Your children may be left to receive their most basic nurturing from others. You will be pulled in multiple directions—and likely feel like you’re failing at all of them.

We live in a broken society. And it must be rebuilt.

The last hundred years in our country have done real damage to the household. Feminism succeeded in restructuring society—but it restructured it against God’s design. And that’s why things are falling apart.

You can rebel against creation for a time, but it will always catch up with you. And it has caught up with us.

Now, there is a small but growing movement to restore things—to return, culturally, to something more in line with a biblical pattern. But this isn’t a project that can be completed in a single generation. I believe we can make real progress, even significant progress. But let’s be honest: not all of us are going to live the ideal life.

Some of us woke up to these lies far too late. And there’s no time machine. We can’t undo what’s already been done.

What we can do is reclaim the ground that’s still in front of us. We can pursue faithfulness with the time and strength we have left.

There was a popular meme going around in the last couple of years. It usually showed a wholesome image—maybe a father coming home from work, being greeted by his wife and kids—and the caption would say: “Look what they took from you.”

But I don’t think that’s helpful. Even if it’s true, that kind of thinking is not rooted in Christian hope. It’s victim ideology dressed up in wholesomeness. It’s all about what someone else did to you, not about what God can do through you.

No, we can’t undo every bad decision we’ve made—individually or as a society. But we can move forward. We can recover a biblical pattern, step by step, in our own lives.

Instead of saying, “Look what they took from you,” we ought to say, “Look what God can accomplish through you.”

I realize this is a lot of prologue just to get to what is, in many ways, a simple teaching. But there are still two more things I need to say before we go there.

First, we have witnessed an aggressive attack on masculinity in this country. For decades now, boys have been treated as if they were just defective girls. They’ve been told to suppress their masculine instincts and become more feminine.

We hear a lot about misogyny—the hatred of women—and rightly so. But what’s almost never talked about is misandry—the hatred of men. And it’s real. I’ve preached on this before, and I’ve written about it in a book I co-authored.

But this isn’t just about men. Women have been under attack too—just in a different way.

The attack on women has come primarily through deception. Through lies.

And the tragic part is that these lies didn’t just come from the fringes. They came from voices women trusted—teachers, mentors, pop culture, even pastors. People they looked up to. People they believed had their best interests at heart.

So when a woman begins to wake up to the truth, it’s not just enlightening—it’s painful. Because she realizes she was betrayed.

It’s been my observation that one of the greatest generators of feminist daughters is the presence of embittered, disgruntled housewives.

Younger women, I know how painful it is to realize that you’ve been betrayed—especially by those you trusted most. Many of them likely believed they were helping you. They may have thought they were doing you a service.

But if their words or their example stand in contradiction to the Word of God, it was not a service. It was a disservice.

And now you are faced with a choice: will you hold onto the lies out of loyalty to them, or will you reject those lies in obedience and worship to the Lord?

It takes courage. But that courage is part of your calling. You must love truth more than sentiment. You must love Christ more than tradition—even broken family traditions.

And when you do, you’re not just stepping into obedience. You’re stepping into freedom.

Second, I want to speak to what I believe is an overcorrection in some Christian circles—a reaction to feminism that swings too far in the opposite direction. And what makes this overcorrection worse is a refusal to acknowledge the reality of the world we actually live in.

For example, some might leave this sermon thinking that I believe it’s wrong for a woman to have a job outside the home or to pursue a career. But that’s simply not true.

Part of the challenge is historical. The Industrial Revolution pulled much of the means of production out of the household. Before that, families often farmed or ran businesses together, and everyone played a role. The home wasn’t just where you lived—it was where you worked. It was the center of economic life.

Women are designed by God to work. Scripture never presents women as idle or passive. In fact, the default assumption of Scripture is that women are industrious. But that work has historically been rooted in the home—not because women are lesser, but because the home is a vital and God-ordained sphere of influence.

Take Proverbs 31, for instance. The woman there is clearly engaged in commerce, trade, and craftsmanship—but it’s all tied to her household. Her external labor is an extension of her calling, not a replacement for it.

So the key question is this: Is the work I’m doing outside the home an extension of my God-given calling, or is it pulling me in two directions and undermining the work I’m called to do within my household?

It’s not about rigid rules—it’s about discernment, priorities, and faithfulness to what God has said.

Now, I also want to acknowledge that we are living in very difficult economic times. In many cases, a single-income household simply isn’t possible.

Some women have taken on large amounts of debt to pursue higher education. They got married and, together with their husbands, built a life that depends on two incomes. And now they’re facing financial obligations that can’t easily be set aside or resolved overnight.

In situations like that, you do the best you can. You take whatever ground is in front of you. You walk in faith. And you trust that God, in His providence, is still at work through it all.

Now, let me add one more thing on this point.

While it’s true that many young women today are overly picky—sometimes even delusional—about what kind of man they’re willing to marry, it’s also true that genuinely godly, disciplined young men can be very hard to find.

A reasonable, godly young woman who really desires marriage might still struggle to find a suitable husband. And I don’t believe it’s helpful—or wise—for her to simply sit around in her parents’ house waiting for a man to knock on the door.

There’s nothing wrong with her working, growing, developing skills, and maturing as a woman while she waits.

There’s a big difference between being career-driven and having a career or job.

There’s a difference between being a “careerist” and being a diligent, industrious woman who works hard and prepares for the next season of life, even if she hasn’t entered it yet. Ladies, hustle while you wait. Develop real skills. Learn how to budget, become familiar with the great books, become savvy and fixing a maintaining things. Your household, your family, will need and benefit from those abilities.

So where do we go from here?

We return to the pattern God has already given us.

In Titus 2, Paul lays out a blueprint for rebuilding broken households—and he begins with a call to older women. He says they are to “teach what is good” (v.3), and part of that goodness is to “train the young women” (v.4). These aren’t throwaway suggestions. They are beautiful, God-ordained patterns for Christian womanhood.

This kind of older-woman discipleship isn’t just needed—it’s urgent. We’re not just recovering lost knowledge; we’re replanting a forest after a fire.

And what exactly are these older women to pass on to you, younger women? Paul gives us two main categories: personal character and relational responsibility. Many of my thoughts were shaped by Matthew Henry’s helpful commentary.

1. Personal Character

There are five traits Paul highlights here—five qualities that help anchor a woman in faithfulness, especially in the context of home and family.

Self-controlled – This is about developing sound judgment and emotional steadiness. It’s the opposite of being ruled by impulse, mood swings, or peer pressure. A woman’s emotional depth is a gift—it brings comfort, warmth, and beauty into a home. The gentle words of a godly wife or mother can give strength to the entire household. But that same emotional power, if undisciplined, can destabilize a home just as quickly. Self-control channels God’s good design for the good of others.

Pure – This speaks to sexual chastity, moral integrity, and a sincere desire for holiness. Let me be blunt: I know some of you women are struggling with explicit content online. That’s not just a “guy problem” anymore. You need to talk to someone. Talk to your mom, a sister in Christ, or—according to Titus 2—a godly older woman. They are here for you. Don’t struggle alone.

Also, I hate to bring this up, but I must. Approximately half a million women between the ages of 18 and 24 are active content creators on the OnlyFans app. We live in wicked times. These issues must be called out.

Let’s not kid ourselves: a lot of what passes for “romance” in movies and books is perversion dressed in lace. It fuels fantasy, discontent, and sin. A few years ago, I heard about church women, elders wives, laughing and bragging online about going to see a movie about male strippers. That’s not funny. That’s shameful. If we’re going to call men to purity—and we should—we must call women to it, too.

Working at home – I’ve spoken at length about this already, so I’ll just add a few things. This doesn’t mean a woman can never leave the house or earn a paycheck. But it does mean that her home is a domain of stewardship—a God-assigned field of labor.

A couple years ago, I bought a house. Brick, wood, concrete. But because of my wife, it has become a home. She’s worked within the limits of our income and space to create a place where I can rest, where our children are trained, where guests are welcomed, where memories are made, where culture is cultivated.

It might look like chaos sometimes—especially if you have a bunch of little ones. That’s normal. If you walk into a woodshop, you’ll see woodchips on the floor. That’s the cost of productivity. In the same way, a tricycle in the front yard and a few dishes in the sink aren’t signs of failure—they’re signs that life is being built. What you do now, ladies, echoes into your grandchildren’s generation.

Kind – This is about graciousness, gentleness, and generosity of spirit. Not bitter. Not brash. Not sarcastic and cold. A woman can have all the outer beauty in the world, but if she has a cutting, resentful demeanor, she turns that beauty sour. And the reverse is true too: a gentle, charitable woman who loves others well—that is a force of life in a home. That’s real power.

Submissive to their own husbands – This one always makes modern ears twitch. But it’s right there in the text, and it’s reinforced elsewhere in Scripture. Submission doesn’t mean silence or spinelessness. It doesn’t mean the man never listens to his wife. A godly husband does take her counsel seriously—she’s his helper and companion. But someone has to make the final call. Someone has to take responsibility. And that’s the man’s role.

Submission is a willing, joyful disposition to support and follow that leadership. It’s not inferiority—it’s about order and responsibility. Ephesians 5 says wives are to submit “as to the Lord,” because the husband’s role is patterned after Christ’s headship of the church. That’s not a license for tyranny—it’s a call to harmony and sacrificial love.

There’s nothing more deflating for a man than a wife who second-guesses every decision and undercuts his leadership. And there’s nothing more shameful than a man who hides behind his wife and dumps all the decision-making on her. God didn’t design the household as a democracy—it’s a kingdom. And in every kingdom, someone bears the crown of responsibility.

2. Relationships and Responsibilities

The second focus of Paul’s instruction isn’t just abstract character—it’s about how that character gets worked out in a woman’s most immediate relationships. Paul says older women are to train the younger to love their husbands and love their children.

Now, that may sound obvious—almost too basic to mention. But Paul uses two different Greek words here that both include the root for love. As John Stott points out, this repetition matters. It’s not just a broad “be loving” command. It’s “teach them how to love their husbands, and how to love their children.”

That means this kind of love isn’t automatic. It’s not just the overflow of affection or the momentum of good intentions. It’s a love that must be taught, learned, and practiced.

Stott goes on to say, “Love is the first and foremost basis of marriage—not so much the love of emotion and romance, still less of eroticism, but rather of sacrifice and service.” In other words, this is covenantal love. Christlike love. Not just about how you feel—but how you give.

Love their husbands – This kind of love involves honor, loyalty, support, and faithfulness. It’s not just about liking your husband when he’s easy to like. It’s about helping him carry the weight of your shared life together. The world says marriage is about personal happiness. Scripture says it’s about holiness, harmony, and sacrifice. When a woman loves her husband well, she doesn’t just build a strong marriage—she strengthens the witness of the gospel in her home.

Love their children – This is more than maternal instinct or emotional tenderness. It’s a shaping, sacrificial love. It means discipline, instruction, prayer, and presence. It means training them to know and fear the Lord. It’s not pampering—it’s preparing. It’s not just surviving the toddler years—it’s forming souls for eternity.

This kind of domestic stewardship takes wisdom, courage, and clarity. J.B. Phillips translates Paul’s phrase here with a simple but powerful term: “home-lovers.” That’s the vision Paul gives us—women who embrace the home not as a trap, but as a calling. Not as the limits of their usefulness, but as the very place where their gifts and labor bear the most fruit.

Of course, we need to be honest—this vision is radically out of step with our culture. But that’s exactly why it matters.

Paul tells us at the end of verse 5 that all of this—“that the word of God may not be reviled.” In other words, the health of our homes affects the credibility of our gospel.

When Christian women build their homes with love, purity, wisdom, and strength, they put God’s Word on display. They make it beautiful and believable. But when we neglect these things—when our marriages are marked by bitterness, when our homes are in disarray, when our lives are indistinguishable from the world—it brings shame to the name of Christ.

There’s no such thing as a private household. Every home preaches. The only question is what kind of gospel it proclaims.

This has been one of my longer sermons, but I believe the time was worth it. The deception of feminism has run deep, and it's done great damage—not just out there in the world, but right here among us.

I know we’ve touched on some sensitive topics today. Some of what I said may have hit nerves. That’s okay. If you have a question or want me to clarify something, I’d be glad to talk more—just shoot me an email.

And if you're sitting there thinking, “Well, what about the men?”—don’t worry. That’s next week.