How is it Between Us?

I've been writing a lot about authority and discipline, which are neglected ingredients across society these days. But they're not the only ingredients that matter. You just can't talk about everything all at once. Alongside these ingredients, there are two others I want to talk about today: accountability and transparency, and how we go about building a culture where these are the norm.

Obviously, I'm not going to be able to write something comprehensive, but I can give you two tools that I think are very helpful: a standard that is regularly reemphasized and routine check-ins.

I'll give you three examples: one from home, one from business, and one from the church.

The standard for obedience in our household is “all the way, right away, and with a happy heart.” All our kids know that saying. They've heard us say it a million times. They're taught it from a very young age, so it is a well-understood expectation. A check-in can simply take the form of: Did you get your homework done? Did you clean up the part of the home you're responsible for right now? Did you do it all the way, right away, and with a happy heart? The standard creates the expectation. A routine check-in—and it does have to be routine—maintains it.

Sticking with the household for a moment, another sort of standard could be a set of questions you regularly ask: What was the best part of your day? What was the most challenging part? How can I pray for you? Then you actually check in with your spouse or children using those questions. They know they're going to be asked. They share with you. You share with them. It creates transparency. And bringing these things before the Lord reinforces accountability. Little things like this, done repeatedly, nurture a culture.

In business, you can create core values that undergird the way your company operates. I think it's especially helpful to define what they are and what they aren't. For example, you could say one of your core values is being open and honest. That means saying what needs to be said. It means not hiding mistakes. Then you work those core values into everything from hiring to firing to promoting. While you assess people on their performance, you also assess their cultural contribution according to a clear and understood standard.

When you're trying to correct something, you use the language of the core values. You also use it in quarterly reviews. That's the check-in. Obviously, you can do weekly check-ins, too. The main thing is that you have a standard that creates expectations and check-ins that create accountability. I would also say that the higher you go in any organization, and certainly in a company, the more you should embody those core values. More authority means more accountability.

At East River, we have eight foundational commitments that define how we approach ministry. We review one of those commitments every time we have an elders' meeting. Any time we're going to make a big decision, we run it through the grid of those commitments and ask, “Is this in line with who we said we would be?” Again, you have a standard and a check-in that requires reflection and accountability.

Another example would be the Lord's Supper. At East River, we fence the table, meaning that we explain who can and can't come to it. A visitor who joins us can participate if he is a believer, has been baptized, is a member of a local church under the authority of its elders, and isn't harboring unrepentant sin. We ask people to search their own hearts concerning these things before they come and partake. Again, you have a standard and a check-in.

If someone is harboring a grudge against the elders or someone else, he is called to deal with it before coming to take the Lord's Supper from the hands of those elders. The conviction of the Holy Spirit should move him to be transparent about those grudges or unresolved sins. The fear of God should hold him accountable. Since this is something we do weekly, it helps us keep short accounts. This is one way to encourage transparency regarding sins in our lives and the state of our relationships. It takes a stubborn heart to keep taking communion while refusing to pursue reconciliation with the people you're at odds with.

These are just some simple examples of how you can work this into all of life. If you want something to become part of a culture, it has to be stated and maintained.

Painting: Jay Johnson