I am often filled with regrets about not having made better use of my life in my 20’s regarding my career and feeling like I’m scrambling to catch up in my 30’s. Reading this today helps remind me that, sure, maybe I didn’t have my career established before beginning to raise my family, but my kids are getting a front row seat to see me do that in real time.
What a great God we serve to make use of our shortcomings.
It is important to stay out of the World of Regrets. That takes discipline, especially when thinking about bad decisions of years ago. But it is important. No time in Regret World.
What strikes me is how quietly these things take root. Apathy, anger, and addiction don’t usually announce themselves; they erode a man’s household in inches, not miles. It’s sobering to realize that neglect and unchecked emotion can do the same damage as outright rebellion. Finishing well requires noticing the decay before it turns to collapse.
Thank you. As one that also wrestles with the regret-nostalgia beast this is just what I needed to hear. Of all the mighty works God has done, what He has never done is turn back the clock and we can only trust His wisdom in that.
From a woman’s perspective, it hits hard because women often carry so much emotional labor. Withdrawing reshapes the household quietly but profoundly. Even small actions, how we respond to conflict, the choice to listen, the willingness to be vulnerable, shape the emotional atmosphere more than we often realize.What really struck me was how easy it is to think we’re doing the right thing while quietly distancing ourselves. We tell ourselves we’re protecting others or keeping peace, while silence and withdrawal do the damage. That feels so true. Staying present, actually showing up in relationships, takes consistent effort.
A brief aside on finances (no idea if any of this is Biblically supported): in my experience, money doesn’t need to be managed as closely as you think. Yes, have an investment strategy, use tax-advantaged accounts, and most importantly, be frugal with your spending. Do your homework beforehand if you’re thinking of buying a house, starting a business, claiming Social Security, etc. But a little simplicity goes a long way re: stocks and bonds. You can just own a cheap index fund for thirty years and it can work wonders without professional management.
Do you have any advice about the tension between having a good career and working in an industry that denigrates the spirit? For instance, if someone had a high-paying job as a casino executive, or was a software developer for an addictive platform, or designed social media ads or something. You’re providing for your family, but are perhaps part of the architecture of a destructive or dangerous industry. Would you suggest taking your skills elsewhere, or keeping your head down to provide?
Great piece, brother.
I am often filled with regrets about not having made better use of my life in my 20’s regarding my career and feeling like I’m scrambling to catch up in my 30’s. Reading this today helps remind me that, sure, maybe I didn’t have my career established before beginning to raise my family, but my kids are getting a front row seat to see me do that in real time.
What a great God we serve to make use of our shortcomings.
Thanks for this post. The insight and encouragement is greatly appreciated.
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You don't understand how you've made my whole month.
I do not see the post for how women destroy their households from last week.
It is important to stay out of the World of Regrets. That takes discipline, especially when thinking about bad decisions of years ago. But it is important. No time in Regret World.
I really needed this message today. Thank you for your part in writing it, brother.
Thanks for sharing Michael!
What strikes me is how quietly these things take root. Apathy, anger, and addiction don’t usually announce themselves; they erode a man’s household in inches, not miles. It’s sobering to realize that neglect and unchecked emotion can do the same damage as outright rebellion. Finishing well requires noticing the decay before it turns to collapse.
That is gold brother thanks for sharing this it is so helpful
Thank you. As one that also wrestles with the regret-nostalgia beast this is just what I needed to hear. Of all the mighty works God has done, what He has never done is turn back the clock and we can only trust His wisdom in that.
Thank you for writing this🤝
From a woman’s perspective, it hits hard because women often carry so much emotional labor. Withdrawing reshapes the household quietly but profoundly. Even small actions, how we respond to conflict, the choice to listen, the willingness to be vulnerable, shape the emotional atmosphere more than we often realize.What really struck me was how easy it is to think we’re doing the right thing while quietly distancing ourselves. We tell ourselves we’re protecting others or keeping peace, while silence and withdrawal do the damage. That feels so true. Staying present, actually showing up in relationships, takes consistent effort.
I love your article!
A brief aside on finances (no idea if any of this is Biblically supported): in my experience, money doesn’t need to be managed as closely as you think. Yes, have an investment strategy, use tax-advantaged accounts, and most importantly, be frugal with your spending. Do your homework beforehand if you’re thinking of buying a house, starting a business, claiming Social Security, etc. But a little simplicity goes a long way re: stocks and bonds. You can just own a cheap index fund for thirty years and it can work wonders without professional management.
Do you have any advice about the tension between having a good career and working in an industry that denigrates the spirit? For instance, if someone had a high-paying job as a casino executive, or was a software developer for an addictive platform, or designed social media ads or something. You’re providing for your family, but are perhaps part of the architecture of a destructive or dangerous industry. Would you suggest taking your skills elsewhere, or keeping your head down to provide?