Morris the Cat

So I once knew the guy who owned Morris the Cat from the 9Lives commercials.

Or so I thought.

Back in the early 2000s, I was part of the training team at a large collections agency. Given the nature of the work, turnover was constant, so every couple of weeks we had a new class of 20–30 trainees coming through. I taught classes on legalities and also worked the floor helping struggling new hires survive their first few weeks.

I'd often eat lunch with the trainees and get to know them a bit. Collections attracted some real characters. Back then, you could make serious money doing it, but getting cussed out all day and called a vulture wasn't exactly most people's dream career.

One of our new hires was a rather flamboyant man who had previously worked at a bank where my wife and I had worked. I didn't know him well, but I recognized him. During one of the classes, we asked everyone to share something interesting about themselves. He told us he was heavily involved in showing cats and had owned Morris the Cat from the 9Lives commercials.
It sounded random enough to be believable. After all, somebody had to own that cat.

A few weeks later, after training ended, I noticed his desk covered with contest ribbons. Some said third place. Others said seventh. So I asked him more about showing cats. He explained that even placing seventh at some competitions could mean a $20,000 prize and that he was making close to six figures some years.

So naturally I asked, "Why are you working here?"

His answer was something like, "I just like meeting people," or "I get bored."

That was the moment I knew he was lying.

There are about a million better places to "meet people" than a collections floor where strangers threaten your life over unpaid student loans.

This was the very early Google era, but I eventually looked into the Morris the Cat story. Turns out there were multiple cats used in the commercials over the decades, and he didn't own any of them. When I mentioned him to my wife, she reminded me he'd also apparently had a fake fiancé at our previous workplace.

At that point, I started wondering if the ribbons themselves came out of a garage sale box somewhere.

People will go to extraordinary lengths to construct a life they never lived. That experience made a skeptic of me when it comes to influencers and internet personalities. The problem is there's often no reliable way to tell who's genuine and who's just showing you ribbons on a desk.