Not One Road for All

Developing Vocational Paths for Every Kind of Kid in the House

I am a father of a house full of teenagers, and my days are increasingly shaped by a simple question. How do I help each of them get onto a solid vocational track before they drift into the fog that swallows so many young adults. I am not interested in pushing them all down the same path. I am interested in helping them become competent adults who can shoulder responsibility and serve somewhere real. That means paying attention to who they actually are and then building avenues for training that match their gifts and interests.

My oldest did an internship at my company that turned into a career track right out of high school. No college for him, at least not for now. He is learning a trade, earning money, and growing up in a real work environment. My second has surprised us by aiming toward aircraft mechanics. He is taking courses at a technical school and wants certifications that will eventually lead to a pilot’s license. We are working on getting him a job at a small local airport. He will have post secondary training, just not in the traditional college mold.

My third is wired differently. He has an interest in politics and law. He will intern with me this summer and, perhaps, intern with a lawyer friend. At the moment his likely path runs through a history or political science degree and then law school. My oldest daughter turns thirteen this summer. She is a storyteller and illustrator. We have invested in an online course in comic book storytelling to see where that goes. The younger ones are still young enough that we are simply watching what they gravitate toward and giving them room to explore.

A large part of my life right now is helping them latch onto a track and then doing what I can to open doors for training and placement. I am not opposed to college. I am opposed to foolish degrees financed by large amounts of debt. Higher education can be a useful tool when it is tied to a real vocation.

The current mood in many conservative and reformed circles has swung hard against college. Some of that is understandable. For years we told every eighteen year old to borrow money for vague degrees and to find themselves. The results were predictable. Debt, delayed adulthood, and frustration. So now the pendulum has swung toward a kind of anti-education sentiment that treats the trades as the only honest path.

The trades are good and necessary. A disciplined young plumber or electrician with a bit of business sense will do very well. But a healthy society also needs teachers and lawyers and judges and engineers. Christians should not vacate those fields. If we do, they will be filled by others who don’t fear God.

For us, the goal is not college or no college. The goal is competence, character, and direction. Some vocations require formal education and that is fine. The key is to approach it soberly. Live at home if possible. Work while you study. Avoid crippling debt. Choose degrees tied to a solid career path.

I get that many campuses are a social anti-Christian trash heap. But temptations do not live only in dorms. They live on the phone in a teenager’s pocket. They are present in most workplaces. The task is to raise young men and women who can be in the world without being swallowed by it. So you take wise protective measures, but at some point, they have to face this stuff down on their own.

Also, I am completely comfortable with my daughters receiving a college education if that fits their gifts and circumstances. It needs to make financial sense and fall within a reasonable social and spiritual risk ratio. I have been very thankful that I married a woman who received a solid education while avoiding much of the corruption that can come with campus life. This is another place where I see people in reformed circles get oddly rigid. In trying to correct the excesses of the past, some have decided that higher education itself is the problem. It is not. The issue is foolish decision making, unnecessary debt, and sending young adults into environments they are not prepared to navigate. A wise approach weighs the cost, the formation of the student, and the long term usefulness of the degree. It is possible to pursue serious education without surrendering convictions or common sense.

In short, the household should function like a small guild. Identify gifts. Provide training. Build connections. Help them step into the world with skill and confidence. This used to be normal. It can be normal again if we are willing to take responsibility for the formation and placement of our own children.