One Simple Trick

How to find more time, improve your friendships, lower your stress

Here's a simple way to find more time in your day, improve your friendships, and lower stress:

Avoid stupid quarrels.

Proverbs 26:17 says, “Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.”

Note that the issue here isn’t the validity of the quarrel.

The content of the argument might be worthy; the issue is that it isn’t any of your business. It is a quarrel that belongs to others, and inserting yourself is meddling.

On top of that, it’s also stupid and foolish.

A very simple thing you can do to better restrain your speech is simply ask yourself if what you’re about to say is any of your business. Cultivate not caring if people are wrong. Don’t be so arrogant as to think you are responsible for everyone.

On this topic, Charles Bridges writes, “If we would honor our God in our Christian path, we must take time at every step for prayer and for the exercise of sound judgment. Else we shall often rush on unbidden to our loss.”

Your time, attention, and focus are limited resources.

You can only care about so many things.

You must invest these resources wisely.

It is foolish to invest your limited resources in stupid quarrels—but this also applies to good things which are none of our business.

Some of us keep draining our “accounts” and are flat broke when it comes time to deal with the things given to us by the Lord.

You have to learn to ask, “Is this something I need to involve myself in?” If not, don’t jump in. Refuse an invite to join the mess.

People often ask me if I have thoughts on this or that controversy.

My favorite answer is, “I have no thoughts on that.” It’s sincere. I've stopped tracking most of this sort of stuff after being convicted by Proverbs 20:3, which says, “Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel.”

You should feel fine with being left out. You got things to do that matter more. Don’t you?

I know people will label worthwhile conversations as quarrels as a way to silence you. However, that's beside the point. The fact remains that quarrels do exist, and it's crucial to recognize and steer clear of them.