One Simple Trick
How to find more time, improve your friendships, lower your stress
Here's a simple way to find more time in your day, improve your friendships, and lower stress:
Avoid stupid quarrels.
Proverbs 26:17 says, “Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.”
Note that the issue here isn’t the validity of the quarrel.
The content of the argument might be worthy; the issue is that it isn’t any of your business. It is a quarrel that belongs to others, and inserting yourself is meddling.
On top of that, it’s also stupid and foolish.
A very simple thing you can do to better restrain your speech is simply ask yourself if what you’re about to say is any of your business. Cultivate not caring if people are wrong. Don’t be so arrogant as to think you are responsible for everyone.
On this topic, Charles Bridges writes, “If we would honor our God in our Christian path, we must take time at every step for prayer and for the exercise of sound judgment. Else we shall often rush on unbidden to our loss.”
Your time, attention, and focus are limited resources.
You can only care about so many things.
You must invest these resources wisely.
It is foolish to invest your limited resources in stupid quarrels—but this also applies to good things which are none of our business.
Some of us keep draining our “accounts” and are flat broke when it comes time to deal with the things given to us by the Lord.
You have to learn to ask, “Is this something I need to involve myself in?” If not, don’t jump in. Refuse an invite to join the mess.
People often ask me if I have thoughts on this or that controversy.
My favorite answer is, “I have no thoughts on that.” It’s sincere. I've stopped tracking most of this sort of stuff after being convicted by Proverbs 20:3, which says, “Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel.”
You should feel fine with being left out. You got things to do that matter more. Don’t you?
I know people will label worthwhile conversations as quarrels as a way to silence you. However, that's beside the point. The fact remains that quarrels do exist, and it's crucial to recognize and steer clear of them.
This is why I dropped off social media and largely stopped listening to podcast. I found myself thinking about this again recently with the whole Alistair Begg controversy as I heard what was said and asked myself "Is this any business of mine and does it affect me in any way?" I have since ignored everything about it, including posts shared by my Pastor.
I'm not saying he's wrong for sharing it or anyone else commenting on it. I just don't care and am glad to be off most forms of social media.
Excellent post about a valuable topic for all believers. A culture of contention has taken hold from the top tiers of government down to home and family. And it's stealing people's joy. Had the Bible not been written in such a patriarchal culture I feel sure that Proverbs 25:24 would have said "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome family." Now that social media has addicted so many of our fellow Americans to the dopamine surges they get from clicks and likes, the contention that forms the underlying current of so many online exchanges is making dispute a part of many peoples' secular identity. As this tendency finds its way to our church communities, I'm betting the "spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" celebrate each one.
Greg Williams
https://christiansoldier21.substack.com/