To add to another misconception—Lots of folks imagine their kids will marry other kids in their church but in my experience those kids raised in the same church tend to not marry each other. They may use each other as introductions to extended family and friends who they end up marrying but rarely are childhood church friends getting married.
Most come from repeated, ordinary contact in shared spaces over time. 💯 Agree. Imagin getting to know someone from the comments and actually pulling it off.😅😅😅 Well gents, if you come across this comment and you are not spoken for, neither am I.
This is a difficult problem these days, for a bunch of reasons. We've managed to "marry off a pile of kids", mostly, though it's taken some time. Our first two marriages were in 2013, then a third in 2018, then our first-married came home just as COVID hit, and divorced. So late as start of 2022, we had just a net two marriages. But now 6 of our 9 are wed, happily, with just our oldest son and two youngest left to go.
"evidence that younger people are drifting back toward meeting in person for serious relationships. App fatigue is real."
This is my impression, too. We did have one marriage via Bumble. Two of ours married kids from our large local homeschool community. But even in a big city, it's tough. I don't get folks in towns and rural areas who have expectations of a future son in-law moving there and somehow supporting their daughter. That seems completely out of touch to me.
Of our remaining married kids, one married a college classmate, one a relative's roommate, and the last met his wife at his roommate's church. These are pretty classic ways of meeting someone. I don't think the key is depending on apps, joining a gym, or traveling around the world, it's probably more important to get one's expectations aligned with reality.
Not every preference can be a deal-killer. This seems to be a big area of confusion in tight-knit religious communities.
Just curious, why joining gym, social groups, volunteer groups, etc its a good way to extend the realm of possibilities for our kids to marry if finding a good devoted christian in these places is not common? How does it help?
That's a great question. I'll offer some opinions as an older single person who would like to marry
1) The intrinsic value
2) It keeps the social muscles trained if you're regularly going to places and meeting new people. So that if an attractive stranger comes to your church, talking to new people isn't something you've forgotten how to do.
3) You never know. Maybe Christians also like to do those things. Maybe you'll meet people who have Christian friends you don't know.
To add to another misconception—Lots of folks imagine their kids will marry other kids in their church but in my experience those kids raised in the same church tend to not marry each other. They may use each other as introductions to extended family and friends who they end up marrying but rarely are childhood church friends getting married.
Most come from repeated, ordinary contact in shared spaces over time. 💯 Agree. Imagin getting to know someone from the comments and actually pulling it off.😅😅😅 Well gents, if you come across this comment and you are not spoken for, neither am I.
The repeated social connections. Have been telling my son this for years.
This is a difficult problem these days, for a bunch of reasons. We've managed to "marry off a pile of kids", mostly, though it's taken some time. Our first two marriages were in 2013, then a third in 2018, then our first-married came home just as COVID hit, and divorced. So late as start of 2022, we had just a net two marriages. But now 6 of our 9 are wed, happily, with just our oldest son and two youngest left to go.
"evidence that younger people are drifting back toward meeting in person for serious relationships. App fatigue is real."
This is my impression, too. We did have one marriage via Bumble. Two of ours married kids from our large local homeschool community. But even in a big city, it's tough. I don't get folks in towns and rural areas who have expectations of a future son in-law moving there and somehow supporting their daughter. That seems completely out of touch to me.
Of our remaining married kids, one married a college classmate, one a relative's roommate, and the last met his wife at his roommate's church. These are pretty classic ways of meeting someone. I don't think the key is depending on apps, joining a gym, or traveling around the world, it's probably more important to get one's expectations aligned with reality.
Not every preference can be a deal-killer. This seems to be a big area of confusion in tight-knit religious communities.
Just curious, why joining gym, social groups, volunteer groups, etc its a good way to extend the realm of possibilities for our kids to marry if finding a good devoted christian in these places is not common? How does it help?
That's a great question. I'll offer some opinions as an older single person who would like to marry
1) The intrinsic value
2) It keeps the social muscles trained if you're regularly going to places and meeting new people. So that if an attractive stranger comes to your church, talking to new people isn't something you've forgotten how to do.
3) You never know. Maybe Christians also like to do those things. Maybe you'll meet people who have Christian friends you don't know.
Of course, God first.
I get that for one self, but for my kids? Is not like in the gym I will from connections that will later allow my kids to meet their daughters or am I
missing the point?