I have noticed a tendency in a lot of people who came from unstable backgrounds. Due to dysfunction or some sort of crisis, they have somehow come to the conclusion that life is supposed to be dramatic. They read Scripture and see all these dramatic stories: dramatic conversions, victories, confrontations. And so they expect this to be an ordinary part of their life, because drama was an ordinary part of their life. Of course, they think of it as bad drama, but now they expect good drama since they have come to Christ.
This, of course, is a misreading of Scripture. Scripture especially highlights crucial moments of God’s dramatic work for and through His people. This would be a crude reduction, so don’t take it too far, but in some ways, it is the highlight reel of God’s work. Most of history isn’t full of disembodied hands writing on the wall, astronomical miracles, or stunning conversions. There are much smaller dramas, but life on the whole is pretty ordinary, punctuated from time to time by so-called life events, whether marriage, a windfall of money, or even a national war. For most people, most of the time, life is day after day of the same thing, of the same struggles. And one of the quests, for the sake of your own soul and the souls under your care, is the quest for stability.
But those addicted to drama develop an allergy to stability to such an extent that they’ll throw their life into crisis. They will legitimately manufacture drama to feel like they are properly engaging with reality. You will see people up and quit stable jobs. Or, when they’re already overwhelmed with life, take on some incredible new responsibility—adoption being a very common form I see. Or involve themselves in some sort of online dispute that they tell themselves is the epic showdown of the ages that will determine the future of our nation. They do this because it feels epic. It feels dramatic. And so instead of pursuing stability, they actually pursue crisis. This becomes almost the genetic fabric of a family. And if you want to break these so-called curses, stability is where it’s at.
People need to stay at the same jobs, stay at the same church, have the same schedule. Embrace ordinary faithfulness. Certainly you’ll find yourself in trials and legitimate crises. There’s no escaping that in this life, and you need to be faithful in those situations. But the dramatic changes you want in your life, in your finances, in your children, are realized through faithfulness in the ordinary. Nothing produces resilient children like a stable home. That could be extrapolated even to churches. The healthiest churches don’t jump from thing to thing, from crisis to crisis. They have a stable way of worshiping and discipling, week in, week out.
Pursue stability. It may not feel dramatic, but over the years and decades, it sure is.
Painting: John Brosio
Thank you. After reading this, I need to seek stability much more.
This! I'm currently enjoying some much-needed stability in my life, and I'm loving it, but God is also showing me how hard it is for me to just enjoy the stability, for fear that I'll be unprepared when hard times come around again. Thank you for the reminder that our lives don't have to consist of one crisis after another and that enjoying stability is a good thing.