The Sons of Boomerdom

I'm not planning to do a 'No Quarter November,' but I think I’ll have a 'call it like I see it on topics I usually avoid' November here and there.

Let’s start with the much-discussed 'young, Reformed man.'

I care about this group. I want to see these men become all God has made them to be for the good of others and the glory of God. I was once part of it myself. I’m not that old, but I’m no longer young either (very much a Gen-Xer). 

Some of the anonymous accounts I know personally, who have decried the alienation of young Reformed men—including themselves—by older Reformed men, are actually in their mid-to-late 30s. 

Is that really what we mean by "young"? Your late 30s is very much mid-life in the States. If this is what we mean by young, it seems we’re adopting the surrounding culture’s delayed maturation scale. Maybe we are. If so, I think I categorize these men as something more like late bloomers or something other than young. 

One reason I bring this up is that I notice much less angst and anger in the truly younger men, especially those in their mid-20s or younger. This age group isn’t PC at all—they say “gay” and “retarded,” they work out, mock feminism, and love Trump. But they’re not disaffected. There is less father hunger and, correspondingly, father resentment. It’s a surprising development. 

This brings me back to the other group of men. They may be younger in the grand scheme of things, but they differ in that I sense a lot of anger and resentment, particularly directed at Boomers. In many cases, these men are younger Millennials and, therefore, the sons of Boomers. That’s how I tend to think about and categorize them. All sons are men, and I don’t want to see any Christian men unnecessarily alienated. However, it’s clear we are dealing with two different groups of Reformed men: the young men and the sons of Boomerdom.

One feature of the Boomer generation that I’ve observed across multiple areas is a hesitancy to retire or hand off an institution to a successor. For various reasons (and I can think of a few), this phenomenon hasn’t impacted Gen Xers quite as much as it has Millennials. I think this is one of the major sources of deep generational resentment you see swirling in Sons of Boomerdom. They are stuck on the outside or at the very bottom of the pyramid of authority. It has led to a patricidal mindset: if you want the keys to the kingdom, you must kill your father. Never mind whether or not you even have the skills to rule the kingdom.

There are some Sons of Boomerdom who haven’t demanded, “Dad, hand over the keys.” These men are the outliers who, often waiting years for a promotion, have decided they need to build something on their own. It’s a good thing. However, you can understand why such men would be especially defensive of criticism coming from those who remind them of their generation of withholding fathers.

I don’t think we can afford to spare a generation of Christian men, whether they are young or middle-aged. We need as many as we can get. This will require adopting different tactics with men based on the challenges they are trying to overcome. The goal of every father is to see his son grow into a peer, while the goal of a son should be to be worthy of a good father’s mantle. May the Lord turn the hearts of the fathers to the sons and vice versa.