The Three Things to Think About Before You Relocate

A lot of us have considered relocating our families to a different community in search of a better life. You know, the sort of life a Christian family wants to have. You know, the sort of life a Christian family wants to have.

So, during COVID, our church kind of became what you’d call a “destination church.” Not on purpose, it just happened. I was really vocal back then about compromise in the church, about government overreach, about all of that. And we planted East River right in the middle of it all, so naturally it caught some attention.

We had maybe 12 to 15 families actually relocate to join us, probably another 50 that came really close, and then hundreds of inquiries, people who were serious enough to talk about it. And I ended up spending a lot of time emailing and calling folks, helping them think through it. Because while it’s exciting when people share your convictions and want to be part of what we’re building, not everyone should move.

We’re committed to what I call biblical localism. That’s what drives me, building an intergenerational church, a church for our grandkids. That resonated with a lot of people during the instability of the COVID era, when everything else seemed to be falling apart.

But relocating is a big deal. So here are three major things I think you need to consider before you move: the economic reality, the church community, and your extended family. Let’s walk through them.

1. The Economic Reality

If you’re going to move somewhere, you’ve got to be able to take care of yourself and everyone God’s put under your care. That means having a job, and the kind of job that actually pays enough for the life you’re trying to live.

You need to be close to an economy that can support you, that gives you job options. So here in Cincinnati, for example, we’ve got a lot going on: banks, insurance, manufacturing, P&G, all sorts of companies that employ thousands. But if you’re in, say, rocket science, this isn’t the place for you. You’d probably want to look somewhere like Huntsville, Alabama.

And then there’s the cost of living. You might find a place like Washington State or California with great job opportunities, but the cost of living eats everything. Or you might find a place in rural Kentucky or Ohio where land’s cheap, but there’s no work. Neither of those works out long-term.

You’ve got to find a place where opportunity and cost of living balance each other. Personally, I’m a big fan of the Midwest. Cities like Lexington, Louisville, Indianapolis, Columbus, and Cincinnati... they’ve got stable economies and affordable housing. You can make a life here. Just don’t wing it. Winging it’s a bad plan.

2. The Church and Community

Second thing: the community you’re moving into. Especially the church.

Start with the spiritual state of things. Are there faithful churches there? Don’t just watch a couple of livestreams and assume you’ve got the picture. Talk to the pastor. Visit. Go in person.

And here’s my advice... don’t go when they’re hosting a big conference. I used to tell people that all the time when they came to visit us. I’d say, “Hey, it’s not always this exciting around here.” Real life is pretty normal. It’s a grind, work during the week, some family time on Saturday, then worship and rest on Sunday. You need to see that.

Also, and this one’s huge, make sure your wife and kids can make friends. If they don’t, it’s going to be miserable for them. People need friends. Kids need peers.

And think about distance. If your church is 50 minutes away, and the people your family connects with live 40 minutes the other direction, you’re basically isolated. I tell people that 30 minutes is about the limit for real community. Anything more, and folks stop getting together.

So, find a community with a faithful church and real relationships close by. Don’t isolate yourself on a dream property in the middle of nowhere. It’s not just about land; it’s about people.

3. The Extended Family

Last thing: your extended family.

I’ve noticed two groups tend to relocate: the younger families with kids under ten, and the older folks in their fifties and sixties who are just done with bad churches and bad politics.

If you’re a young family, hear me on this, you need grandparents, uncles, and aunts nearby. Someone to watch the kids once in a while so you and your spouse can get a night out or even just run errands. Grandparents are part of God’s design for the household. Kids need that generational stability.

Now, I get it, some of you don’t have that kind of family. Or maybe the ones you do have are a bad influence. In that case, you’ve got to make a judgment call. But in general, proximity to family is a blessing.

If you’re older, you’ve got to think about this too. Are you moving to chase your own preferences, or are you moving to build into your kids and grandkids? That’s a serious question. As you age, being nearby to love and support them matters more than ever.

So that’s it. Before you pack up and move, weigh the economic reality, the church and community life, and the family connections.

God calls most of us to plant deep roots, to build something lasting. Not to keep chasing the next “better” place.

One final thought...

We chose Cincinnati because Emily had lived here her whole life until she married me, and I had plenty of connections from my late teens after growing up just over the river in Indiana. So we already had a little family around and a fair amount of history in the area. In my view, it almost always makes the most sense to relocate somewhere you’ve already got roots and relationships. It’s not the only factor, but it’s a major one.

Painting: Elmer Plummer