Winning the Battle Against Porn

By Michael Foster & John Weis

These are unpolished notes from a talk my associate pastor and I prepared for our men. At some point, we will find time to polish and expand them, but for now, they are as they are. We hope they will be helpful.

Strategic Advantage

In military strategy, success often hinges on knowing the nature of the battle and your enemy. You must understand his strategy, tactics, capabilities, and methods of attack. Your goal is to create a strategic advantage, ensuring your enemy is outmatched from the start. Before developing strategies to fight any battle, you must first understand what that battle entails.

This is the difference between strategy and tactics.
If your strategies aren't tailored to the nature of the fight, you’ve lost the war before the first strike.

The Nature of the Battle

Much of John’s work involves the Department of Defense, particularly with the Air Force. One key factor behind the United States military’s success in the 21st century is air superiority. In any operation where we're advancing on enemy territory, the first priority is always to dominate the skies.

The reason for this is simple: air superiority provides unmatched maneuverability and reach. When you control the skies, you can see the enemy before they see you, and you can strike from a distance, neutralizing threats quickly—often before they’re even aware of your presence.

On the other hand, if you focus on ground strategies without controlling the air, you’re at a severe disadvantage. No matter how well you execute on the ground, without air support, you’re exposed.

Understanding the nature of the battle—especially the enemy's capabilities—and forming strategies based on that is crucial. Ultimately, successful strategies depend on the players involved and the terrain you're operating on.
Who is in the battle, and where does the battle take place?

Who is in the Battle?

So, who is in this battle? We assume that if you are a breathing Christian male, you are in this battle. Whether or not you are currently giving in to temptation, you need to be prepared.

1. First, be prepared for yourself.
   You can't develop a strategic response to a surprise attack. Even if you are not currently losing the battle, you need to prepare for it ahead of time. There’s an old saying in military theory: If you want peace, prepare for war. You must harden your defenses before the battle and have counterattack strategies ready. You can’t respond to an invasion without preparation.

2. Second, be prepared for your brothers and your sons.
   Many Christians today are losing this battle, so you need to be ready to help your brothers who are struggling. But more importantly, fathers, you need to understand this in order to disciple your sons. When I was growing up, the average age of first exposure to pornography was around 14 or 15. Today, the average age is under 10. This is shocking. Worse, many children never disclose this, so it's on us as Christian fathers to protect them as well as ourselves. We have to balance preserving innocence while preparing young minds for something they should never encounter. But we need to win this battle for ourselves and our families. You will never be able to correct the sin in your sons that you struggle with yourself.

Know Your Enemy

Now, let’s discuss the terrain: where does the battle take place? A key question is: What is pornography?

By this, we’re not just asking what qualifies as pornography, but what pornography is in its nature.

Ultimately, pornography is sin. All sin is a disordering of our hearts, minds, affections, and actions—anything contrary to God’s design and decree. By "God's design," we mean that the way God made something is how it should work. By "God's decree," we mean that what He says about something is what we should do.

Sexuality itself is not inherently bad. God gave us sexual desire and capacity as a gift. Pornography, however, twists these gifts. It is the sin of stealing from what God intended as a blessing. The use of pornography directs our desires away from God’s design toward our own pleasure, ultimately leading to death.

In every man’s battle with pornography, shame is inevitable. But if you don’t understand the nature of the battle, you might begin to loathe yourself instead of directing that frustration toward your enemy.

Every image that entices you sexually, apart from the context of Christian marriage, is a step toward sexual sin. The battle is everywhere. In this world, we’re inundated with messages that are sexually charged, and these messages are designed to attack you. Unless you’ve already developed a strategy to respond, you will fall prey.

Part One: Reframe How You Think About Porn and Yourself

The first part of a winning strategy in this battle is to reframe how you think about porn and yourself.

A. Reframe how you think about porn: it’s wrong and bad.
Pornography is wrong because it violates God’s law—specifically, the 7th Commandment in both narrow and broad senses.

• Narrow sense: Adultery, the violation of another’s marriage bed, is forbidden. Adultery is sexual intercourse involving at least one married person. Francis Turretin notes that God condemns adultery because it is one of the grossest forms of lewdness, injurious to human society and contemptuous of our neighbors.

• Broad sense: In Matthew 5, Jesus expands on the 7th Commandment, teaching that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in their heart. This command is about maintaining a chaste and disciplined life.

The Larger Catechism explains the duties required by the 7th Commandment:

• Chastity in body, mind, affections, words, and behavior

• Preservation of chastity in ourselves and others

• Watchfulness over the eyes and senses

• Temperance, modesty, and diligent labor

Pornography, in this light, is both a breaking of God’s law and an act that disrupts marriage, society, and your own soul. It undermines God’s design for marriage and sexuality, bringing harm in its wake.

B. Reframe how you think about yourself: you are a man and a Christian.
You are a man, and men are disciplined. But this doesn't mean ignoring your desires. You are a red-blooded, created man, but you are also in control of your desires, not controlled by them.

Proverbs 25:28 says, "Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit."

Who is in charge of your life? Job 31:1 says, "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman." As a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit living within you to guide and strengthen you.

To maintain this mindset, you need to read, pray, and preach. Scripture and prayer are essential means of grace that God uses to renew us. Psalm 119:9 says, "How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word."

Preach to Yourself

Preach God’s word to yourself when facing temptation. Jesus modeled this in Matthew 4 when He responded to each temptation with Scripture. When you are tempted, do the same. Remind yourself who you are in Christ. For example, when tempted to look at pornography, say:

"I will not do that. I am dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. I bear the name of Christ and represent Him. Therefore, I will not let sin reign in my body."

This practice can build self-control and discipline. Most men who struggle with pornography have failed to prepare for the battle. When temptation strikes, they have no strategy in place to counteract it.

The Scriptures are clear that memorizing God’s word is a key means of sanctification. Psalm 119:11 says, "I have stored up Your word in my heart, that I might not sin against You."

ACTION:

Build a mental "battery" of Bible verses that can be deployed in the moment of temptation. God has given us His promises and warnings to use in the fight, just as Jesus did during His temptations.

Warnings:

• 1 Peter 2:11: "Abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul."

• 1 Corinthians 6:18: "Flee from sexual immorality... the sexually immoral person sins against his own body."

• Romans 8:13: "If by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live."

Promises:

• Matthew 5:8: "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

• Romans 6:11–14: "Consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus."

• Revelation 3:5: "The one who conquers will be clothed in white garments... and I will confess his name before My Father."

Once you have a verse memorized, practice deploying it immediately when temptation strikes. This is where tactics come into play.

The OODA Loop

In the military, they use the OODA loop to describe decision-making:

1. Observation: Recognize the threat of temptation.

2. Orientation: Assess your situation and identify exit points (e.g., turn off the screen, close the browser).

3. Decision: Make the decision to say "no."

4. Action: Execute immediately—close the screen, rehearse your verse, pray.

The OODA Loop gives you a clear, step-by-step way to battle porn. It helps you observe your behavior, think about what triggers it, make decisions about how to respond, and take action. By using this process, you can make better choices, adjust your strategies as needed, and build momentum in overcoming temptation.

If you follow these steps, you will begin winning battles.

Part Two: Identify Triggers and Times

As we move forward, some of the following sections may seem less "spiritual." Some Christians attempt to pit the "supernatural" against the natural, trying to spiritualize the problem and discounting the benefits of practical, physical steps. But there’s no need to do this. Scripture shows us that both the natural and spiritual aspects of the battle work together.

A good example is the story of David’s sin with Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 11: “In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel. And they ravaged the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem.” (2 Samuel 11:1, ESV)

The writer is giving us a huge hint: David failed to do his natural duty—fight in Israel’s battles—and that led to his spiritual failure. By staying behind, he lost a battle he should never have fought.

The best way to avoid a drawn-out battle is not to fight unnecessary ones. Proverbs 27:12 says, "The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it" (Proverbs 27:12, ESV). We should learn what triggers us to fall into temptation.

Triggers

Masturbation and porn often serve as forms of self-medication. What stressors push you toward self-medicating with porn? Is it overwork? A fight with your spouse? Unmet needs?

To overcome these temptations, learn what your triggers are and create strategies for dealing with them.

Times

Porn use is often tied to habitual behavior. How can you break these bad habits? For example, do you tend to masturbate first thing in the morning? Try laying out your clothes the night before, taking a cold shower, and heading out as quickly as possible. Change your routine as part of your strategy.

This leads us to the next step.

Step 3: Build Your Defenses and Go on Offense

Defense

Filters and accountability software like Covenant Eyes can act as speed bumps, slowing you down. While they won’t stop you completely, they offer protection.

Offense

Offensive strategies come in two forms: short-term and long-term.

• Short-term:
  Exercise, sleep, and eat well to manage stress and anxiety. Stay busy. There are nights when my wife and I would love to be intimate, but we’re just too tired. Wear yourself out in good, productive ways. Read Scripture and pray—not just in relation to porn, but to live a disciplined life. Remember, you are not defined by your sin. Enjoy the whole of God’s Word.

• Long-term:
  Marriage and/or repairing your sex life in marriage can be part of the solution, but marriage itself is not the answer—it's a help.

Step 4: Find Your Tribe and Run With Them

Paul exhorts us:

“Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22).

You need a tribe, a crew, or a pack to run with. You need men who are actively seeking the Lord. Surround yourself with men who are in the battle, not just talking about their failures. Avoid groups where everyone only shares their struggles. Instead, run with people who are winning.

Proverbs says, “He who dwells with the wise will be wise.”

For example, at the start of the summer, I joined a few brothers for weightlifting at the gym. I’ve lifted before and have equipment at home, but I knew I would grow more by having others push me. Accountability and camaraderie make a difference.

Find your tribe. Seek victory alongside those who have been where you want to go.

Recap

Here’s your four-part plan:

1. Reframe your thoughts about porn and yourself. Memorize God’s Word.

2. Identify and/or eliminate triggers and times.

3. Build your defenses and go on offense.

4. Find your tribe and run with them.

Pick a starting point and begin. God is with you, Christian brothers. You can do it.