Why women test men...

Women perform “checks” on their potential suitors or husbands. Some guys perceive these as “tests.” And, in a sense, they are tests but often they’re neither conscious nor malicious. They are “testing” you in the same way you might check a chair’s stability before sitting on it.

It’s natural for women to test men seeing how they must submit themselves to one’s leadership in marriage. They want to know that they can count on a man to provide the needed support for her and their future children. Is he strong? Is he resolved? Is he decisive? Is he gentle?

Her future wellbeing as a wife and mother is directly tied to the character of his leadership. So they “check” or “test” him.

A lot of these tests happen at a subconscious level. They are an instinctual way to answer important questions related to their God-given roles.

For example:

“If I tease you or challenge you, will you react in a defensive or insecure way?”

“If I test your resolve will you immediately fold or get angry?”

They may not always do it in a way that feels respectful but there is a real purpose behind these checks. In marrying a man, a woman is resigning her to a “passenger” seat in a car you’ll drive. That’s a vulnerable place. So don’t get easily offended or shocked by “checks.”

She just wants to know that you are a strong and competent leader. See it as yet another opportunity to reassure you who she hopes you are.

These tests can go too far and turn into legit nagging and negging. That's another post. For the moments, see them as an opportunities.