Amen. Good reminder to be quick to listen and slow to speak.
In counseling many friends through marriage conflicts each side always sees blame as 99% to 1% split. I’ve come to realize it’s almost never an equal 50/50, but without a doubt it’s never 99/1. And many times the party w/ the most visible sin has repented and the other party has less visible sin causing significant trauma that’s never been dealt with.
Indeed. Besides churches, I've seen it in small businesses, where an owner has never learned that a very persuasive story is, well… just a story. Getting to the truth takes some effort, and maybe considerable discomfort.
I suspect also that some leaders like to fantasize that everyone in their organization is perfectly happy, so anytime someone raises a concern, their fantasy bubble is burst a little bit and they just react in anger, instead of actually leading.
It should be assumed that everyone's job has its difficulties, especially those out on the front lines, and anything that involves people having to work together is going to occasionally involve garbled communications and ruffled feathers. It's no big deal, but reacting, instead of investigating, can destroy the culture of an organization.
Speaking of examples: once my wife and I were in a counseling session with our pastor. We all talked for 5 minutes and then got a 40 minute sermon on what Ephesians 6 means. Amazing how that much application can result in absolutely nothing that begins to deal with the particular issues we were trying to discuss.
Amen. Good reminder to be quick to listen and slow to speak.
In counseling many friends through marriage conflicts each side always sees blame as 99% to 1% split. I’ve come to realize it’s almost never an equal 50/50, but without a doubt it’s never 99/1. And many times the party w/ the most visible sin has repented and the other party has less visible sin causing significant trauma that’s never been dealt with.
In Texas, this subject is sometimes reduced to "The first Liar ain't got a chance."
"This shows up everywhere"
Indeed. Besides churches, I've seen it in small businesses, where an owner has never learned that a very persuasive story is, well… just a story. Getting to the truth takes some effort, and maybe considerable discomfort.
I suspect also that some leaders like to fantasize that everyone in their organization is perfectly happy, so anytime someone raises a concern, their fantasy bubble is burst a little bit and they just react in anger, instead of actually leading.
It should be assumed that everyone's job has its difficulties, especially those out on the front lines, and anything that involves people having to work together is going to occasionally involve garbled communications and ruffled feathers. It's no big deal, but reacting, instead of investigating, can destroy the culture of an organization.
This is such a good article.
Speaking of examples: once my wife and I were in a counseling session with our pastor. We all talked for 5 minutes and then got a 40 minute sermon on what Ephesians 6 means. Amazing how that much application can result in absolutely nothing that begins to deal with the particular issues we were trying to discuss.