You are right that women had less babies historically. They had babies spaced around 3-4 years apart, for about 25 years. This was because of lactation ammenorrhea, due to co-sleeping, exclusive breastfeeding, baby-wearing (proximity influences hormones). Modernity has dramatically changed this...women's hips, breasts, arms, and backs were replaced with car seats, soothers+bottles, strollers, cribs, etc. This is not a judgment, but an observation.
Helping women see that there is an alternate way to space their children that could be more in line with how God designed women+babies would be so helpful. For some reason sleep training is incredibly encouraged (and vo-sleeping frowned upon, almost lumped in with gentle parenting) in reformed circles, which is one of the largest factors in influencing hormonal changes post-partum in women. Obviously this is a conscience issue, but I wish it was not seen as the default when the opposite is closer to reality.
That is very interesting! Not all women can go years without a cycle though just because they cosleep and nurse etc. We have too many impacted mothers with hormone imbalance, toxicity affecting them who get their periods by 2-4 months PP. I have coslept, fully nursed ( night as well), worn babies all the time and I have never made it to even a year without getting my cycle back. I see way too many women who follow the “ whatever the Lord gives” pregnant 5 months PP, drop breastfeeding which is so important and nurturing to the baby and themselves are so depleted nutritionally. There is a reason even medically speaking they recommend at least 18 months before getting pregnant again. I have seen my fair share of health struggles and issues with this scenario to feel this mindset of having kids without much consideration is not necessarily good.
Helen and my youngest was born at similar ages for us. It was delightful. We started too late. With every child, I thought, "Might be a Down's child, but we'll love her anyway".
I am the 8th of 14; my parent’s “caboose” baby was born after a 5 year gap, shocking all of us- not least my 47 and 48 year old parents. At 17 she is now the sunshine of their daily life, keeping them young in their late 60’s.
I appreciate how you laid out that our attitude towards children needs changed, not just the volume.
There was a parenting class at church this past winter, taught by a couple with sons college and high school age- I told my husband they might feel like they are done and in a position to teach, but I’ve seen so many “good” obedient young adults choose radically different life styles as they mature and gain confidence that I’ve come to think it’s not until people are 30’s and raising children of their own that you truly see the effectiveness of their upbringing.
Obviously I am a great authority on the subject as the parent of a 1 year old 😆 but it does move me to sobriety and prayer.
Excellent. My husband and I hold a very similar veiw to large families. It is certainly very stretching. I know people from large families who have pulled back somewhat, in hopes that they will be more capable of being a help to their children. I think the hearts posture toward children of love, and the beleif they are the blessing that God says they are is at the very heart of the matter. It's hard having a large family. But it can be very, very good. Congratulations.
Congratulations! I was born when my mother was 42 and my father was 47. I like to say they saved the best for last as I have two older brothers and sisters. my oldest brother had been to Vietnam war and back, married and divorced before I was born. we joke now about how we really didn’t have the same parents because they were so different when he was growing up than when I came along 23 years later. I definitely kept them young until I went off to college. And not one time did I ever feel unwanted.
Michael I wonder if you could address your thoughts on an adult daughter leaving the house. I am of the conviction that daughters are to stay under their father’s authority until marriage. She, 18, does not.
As usual I greatly appreciate your wise, pastoral wisdom and your biblically and experientially nuanced positions. Over and over I find myself saying "Amen, and amen."
Congratulations!
You are right that women had less babies historically. They had babies spaced around 3-4 years apart, for about 25 years. This was because of lactation ammenorrhea, due to co-sleeping, exclusive breastfeeding, baby-wearing (proximity influences hormones). Modernity has dramatically changed this...women's hips, breasts, arms, and backs were replaced with car seats, soothers+bottles, strollers, cribs, etc. This is not a judgment, but an observation.
Helping women see that there is an alternate way to space their children that could be more in line with how God designed women+babies would be so helpful. For some reason sleep training is incredibly encouraged (and vo-sleeping frowned upon, almost lumped in with gentle parenting) in reformed circles, which is one of the largest factors in influencing hormonal changes post-partum in women. Obviously this is a conscience issue, but I wish it was not seen as the default when the opposite is closer to reality.
That is very interesting! Not all women can go years without a cycle though just because they cosleep and nurse etc. We have too many impacted mothers with hormone imbalance, toxicity affecting them who get their periods by 2-4 months PP. I have coslept, fully nursed ( night as well), worn babies all the time and I have never made it to even a year without getting my cycle back. I see way too many women who follow the “ whatever the Lord gives” pregnant 5 months PP, drop breastfeeding which is so important and nurturing to the baby and themselves are so depleted nutritionally. There is a reason even medically speaking they recommend at least 18 months before getting pregnant again. I have seen my fair share of health struggles and issues with this scenario to feel this mindset of having kids without much consideration is not necessarily good.
I’m curious. What resources can you offer on hormone imbalance balance and toxicity that brought you to this conclusion?
Helen and my youngest was born at similar ages for us. It was delightful. We started too late. With every child, I thought, "Might be a Down's child, but we'll love her anyway".
I am the 8th of 14; my parent’s “caboose” baby was born after a 5 year gap, shocking all of us- not least my 47 and 48 year old parents. At 17 she is now the sunshine of their daily life, keeping them young in their late 60’s.
I appreciate how you laid out that our attitude towards children needs changed, not just the volume.
There was a parenting class at church this past winter, taught by a couple with sons college and high school age- I told my husband they might feel like they are done and in a position to teach, but I’ve seen so many “good” obedient young adults choose radically different life styles as they mature and gain confidence that I’ve come to think it’s not until people are 30’s and raising children of their own that you truly see the effectiveness of their upbringing.
Obviously I am a great authority on the subject as the parent of a 1 year old 😆 but it does move me to sobriety and prayer.
Excellent. My husband and I hold a very similar veiw to large families. It is certainly very stretching. I know people from large families who have pulled back somewhat, in hopes that they will be more capable of being a help to their children. I think the hearts posture toward children of love, and the beleif they are the blessing that God says they are is at the very heart of the matter. It's hard having a large family. But it can be very, very good. Congratulations.
Very good, thanks.
This was great. Thank you
Congratulations! I was born when my mother was 42 and my father was 47. I like to say they saved the best for last as I have two older brothers and sisters. my oldest brother had been to Vietnam war and back, married and divorced before I was born. we joke now about how we really didn’t have the same parents because they were so different when he was growing up than when I came along 23 years later. I definitely kept them young until I went off to college. And not one time did I ever feel unwanted.
Michael I wonder if you could address your thoughts on an adult daughter leaving the house. I am of the conviction that daughters are to stay under their father’s authority until marriage. She, 18, does not.
Congratulations!
Congratulations! Great reminders.
As usual I greatly appreciate your wise, pastoral wisdom and your biblically and experientially nuanced positions. Over and over I find myself saying "Amen, and amen."