Thank you for sharing this. It might sound tough to some, but it's real and it’s rooted in wisdom and biblical priorities. Jesus Himself didn’t chase after every need or demand. In Mark 1:37–38when everyone was looking for Him, He said Let us go somewhere else to the nearby villages so I can preach there also. That is why I have come Even Jesus, full of compassion, walked away from some people because He had to stay on mission. As pastors or leaders, we’re not called to fix everything or everyone. That role belongs to Christ. Paul reminded Timothy of this in 2 Timothy 2:2 Entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also That means we must discern who is ready, willing, and able to grow and invest there. That’s not favoritism. That’s fruitfulness. There will always be “black hole situations draining, cyclical, and unchanging. We love those people, we pray for them, but we can't allow them to drain the oil from our lamps. As Proverbs 4:23 says Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it Also, the story you shared reminded me of Exodus 18 where Jethro tells Moses to stop trying to do it all himself. He says, What you are doing is not good... You will wear yourselves out Ex. 18:17–18 Wise delegation, healthy boundaries, and strategic focus are not just leadership techniques they are biblical. And yes, keeping the main thing the main thing” is essential. In Acts 6the apostles faced complaints about neglected widows, but rather than abandon their calling, they said It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables They made sure the need was met but not by sacrificing their focus on prayer and the Word. In the end, ministry without boundaries is a ministry headed for burnout. So I agree with you: sometimes, the most loving, faithful thing we can do is to wait, step back, or say no for the sake of long-term impact. Stay faithful. Stay focused. And may God raise up others around you to carry the load, just as He did for Moses Galatians 6:9 Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up Praying for your strength, clarity, and peace in the Lord as you lead wisely and well. 🙏🔥
Please keep my family and me in your prayers as we continue serving the Lord here in India. We are actively involved in children’s ministry teaching them about Jesus, sharing Bible stories, songs, and helping them grow in faith at a young age. We also minister to widows and care for those who are often forgotten, offering encouragement, prayer, and support in their daily needs. God has also opened doors for us to reach out to the homeless with food, clothing, and the love of Christ Our Gospel outreach efforts continue to expand into unreached and spiritually dark areas. Many have never heard the name of Jesus, and we feel a deep burden to carry the Good News wherever the Lord leads us. The journey is not without its trials, but God’s grace sustains us every day We humbly ask for your prayers for strength, wisdom, protection, and provision as we walk by faith and serve those in need. Your support and intercession mean more than words can express. May God bless you and use you powerfully in your own calling as well
I will share this with my pastor friend. My family spent a few days with his and he was feeling guilty for delegating the work load. I told him that with his denomination (Global Methodists) he better learn to delegate all things but the preaching. Since they do rotations amongst the churches.
So true. Raising kids, I learned that the one making the biggest fuss wasn't usually something I needed to attend to (unless they were fighting… not sure how that applies to the church context). But the kid who was too quiet for too long, that was worth checking out. Sometimes they were getting into something.
Same thing when they were sick, the quiet ones needed attention, but once they started recovering and complaining more, that was actually a good sign. And there are plenty of folks who will just complain, no matter how great they have it. 😂
Thanks Michael. I am curious, how do you distinguish between the people whom it's totally useless to help and those who are just difficult cases? I have seen a lot of difficult people, and the trouble is hurt people need the most patience and it's easy for me to misunderstand them. For instance, I will assume that some quirk is the result of deep sin, but then I talk to other people and they point out that this person is being logical given their perception of the world.
A part of me wants to always throw in the towel when a relationship gets difficult, but another part of me says that I need to be patient and wait for Christ to work in their life.
One more thing: It's been a joke among my friends that you cannot really help people. Men need to help themselves, and all you can do is facilitate that by being present and pointing them to Christ. It takes a special man who can basically take instruction and act on it right away. Most men are not like that: they are the only one who can really deal with their problems. How do you know when your presence should continue even if the fruit is slow?
Thank you for sharing this. It might sound tough to some, but it's real and it’s rooted in wisdom and biblical priorities. Jesus Himself didn’t chase after every need or demand. In Mark 1:37–38when everyone was looking for Him, He said Let us go somewhere else to the nearby villages so I can preach there also. That is why I have come Even Jesus, full of compassion, walked away from some people because He had to stay on mission. As pastors or leaders, we’re not called to fix everything or everyone. That role belongs to Christ. Paul reminded Timothy of this in 2 Timothy 2:2 Entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also That means we must discern who is ready, willing, and able to grow and invest there. That’s not favoritism. That’s fruitfulness. There will always be “black hole situations draining, cyclical, and unchanging. We love those people, we pray for them, but we can't allow them to drain the oil from our lamps. As Proverbs 4:23 says Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it Also, the story you shared reminded me of Exodus 18 where Jethro tells Moses to stop trying to do it all himself. He says, What you are doing is not good... You will wear yourselves out Ex. 18:17–18 Wise delegation, healthy boundaries, and strategic focus are not just leadership techniques they are biblical. And yes, keeping the main thing the main thing” is essential. In Acts 6the apostles faced complaints about neglected widows, but rather than abandon their calling, they said It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables They made sure the need was met but not by sacrificing their focus on prayer and the Word. In the end, ministry without boundaries is a ministry headed for burnout. So I agree with you: sometimes, the most loving, faithful thing we can do is to wait, step back, or say no for the sake of long-term impact. Stay faithful. Stay focused. And may God raise up others around you to carry the load, just as He did for Moses Galatians 6:9 Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up Praying for your strength, clarity, and peace in the Lord as you lead wisely and well. 🙏🔥
Please keep my family and me in your prayers as we continue serving the Lord here in India. We are actively involved in children’s ministry teaching them about Jesus, sharing Bible stories, songs, and helping them grow in faith at a young age. We also minister to widows and care for those who are often forgotten, offering encouragement, prayer, and support in their daily needs. God has also opened doors for us to reach out to the homeless with food, clothing, and the love of Christ Our Gospel outreach efforts continue to expand into unreached and spiritually dark areas. Many have never heard the name of Jesus, and we feel a deep burden to carry the Good News wherever the Lord leads us. The journey is not without its trials, but God’s grace sustains us every day We humbly ask for your prayers for strength, wisdom, protection, and provision as we walk by faith and serve those in need. Your support and intercession mean more than words can express. May God bless you and use you powerfully in your own calling as well
These posts are so helpful. Thank you for sharing your experiences and hard-earned wisdom with the rest of us.
I will share this with my pastor friend. My family spent a few days with his and he was feeling guilty for delegating the work load. I told him that with his denomination (Global Methodists) he better learn to delegate all things but the preaching. Since they do rotations amongst the churches.
So true. Raising kids, I learned that the one making the biggest fuss wasn't usually something I needed to attend to (unless they were fighting… not sure how that applies to the church context). But the kid who was too quiet for too long, that was worth checking out. Sometimes they were getting into something.
Same thing when they were sick, the quiet ones needed attention, but once they started recovering and complaining more, that was actually a good sign. And there are plenty of folks who will just complain, no matter how great they have it. 😂
Thanks Michael. I am curious, how do you distinguish between the people whom it's totally useless to help and those who are just difficult cases? I have seen a lot of difficult people, and the trouble is hurt people need the most patience and it's easy for me to misunderstand them. For instance, I will assume that some quirk is the result of deep sin, but then I talk to other people and they point out that this person is being logical given their perception of the world.
A part of me wants to always throw in the towel when a relationship gets difficult, but another part of me says that I need to be patient and wait for Christ to work in their life.
One more thing: It's been a joke among my friends that you cannot really help people. Men need to help themselves, and all you can do is facilitate that by being present and pointing them to Christ. It takes a special man who can basically take instruction and act on it right away. Most men are not like that: they are the only one who can really deal with their problems. How do you know when your presence should continue even if the fruit is slow?
Mostly experience. Wisdom comes with time. A big tell to me is if they refuse to take any real action towards change.