Keeping the heart soft is a work of God during the trial of protracted singleness. How often I have felt the temptation to bitterness and envy and at times have given in. God's ways are never the easier option when faced with the choice to indulge ourselves or press on in our sanctification.
I have wondered if it’s possible that the burden of unwanted singleness is heavier now because most other forms of communal identity (family, town, city, even church) have been so degraded. It may not be so abnormal for young men and women to be unmarried later in their 20s, but I would argue that they are significantly more LONELY and isolated from historic covenants and communities than any unmarried young adults of the past.
The phenomenon of young men and women living outside their family home, sometimes many hours away, is certainly new and likely not at all helpful.
It’s because men want to marry when they feel they have enough money to be the primary breadwinner (i.e. can cover food and shelter). In the singles groups I’m in that point is usually when a man can afford a starter house. They are married within 6 months after they reach that financial point.
If we make the basics affordable again marriage will start happening again.
My college sociology professor specialized in looking at Victorian statistics and using them to demonstrate that the statistics from the 1950’s that were often used as the norm were actually an outlier. Average age for men marrying was 35 if I recall. In the 1950’s a man could get a factory job straight out of high school that would be family supporting.
"God is at work, even in waiting. James 1 tells us trials—even unwanted ones—grow endurance."
Good reminder...
Keeping the heart soft is a work of God during the trial of protracted singleness. How often I have felt the temptation to bitterness and envy and at times have given in. God's ways are never the easier option when faced with the choice to indulge ourselves or press on in our sanctification.
I believe your post was stolen by "Biblical Man" in his recent post on the same topic.
https://the-biblical-man.beehiiv.com/p/beyond-just-be-content-unpacking
I have wondered if it’s possible that the burden of unwanted singleness is heavier now because most other forms of communal identity (family, town, city, even church) have been so degraded. It may not be so abnormal for young men and women to be unmarried later in their 20s, but I would argue that they are significantly more LONELY and isolated from historic covenants and communities than any unmarried young adults of the past.
The phenomenon of young men and women living outside their family home, sometimes many hours away, is certainly new and likely not at all helpful.
It’s because men want to marry when they feel they have enough money to be the primary breadwinner (i.e. can cover food and shelter). In the singles groups I’m in that point is usually when a man can afford a starter house. They are married within 6 months after they reach that financial point.
If we make the basics affordable again marriage will start happening again.
My college sociology professor specialized in looking at Victorian statistics and using them to demonstrate that the statistics from the 1950’s that were often used as the norm were actually an outlier. Average age for men marrying was 35 if I recall. In the 1950’s a man could get a factory job straight out of high school that would be family supporting.
WOW, I needed this so much!! Excellent article and I agree with every single thing you touched on in it! THANK YOU!! 🙏
To God be the glory! ✝️